Friday, December 5, 2008

Faster than Phelps

Periodically Capital One sends Mom to various meetings about people skills and being a good manager, boss, etc. One of the last ones she attended involved some kind of personality test in which you were categorized as a doer, a follower, etc. and they were challenged to categorize themselves, their employees, and family. Mom told me later that night that she only had to read the first few characteristics under the doer list to know that was so me. Boy is it true! When working on our big unit project this semester I had to catch myself several times in the meetings as I was beginning to sound a bit too bossy, although I still wouldn't hold back much and would just begin my sentences with "I don't mean to be the boss, but...." Luckily for me I had the best group in the world and they would laugh and teasingly (I think) call me "the boss." If you listen in on a shopping trip between my sister and I, especially when Mom is present for me to feed off of, it won't be long before Lydia will proclaim the famous, "Shut up Lee Ann you're not my mom!" It's a classic.
All that said, you have to imagine that when the possibility of Chelsea and I moving off campus next semester came up, I jumped in a swam with it faster than Phelps. I was on a mission. I knew what I wanted and even though there was never a lease in my hand, I would remind classmates who suggested car pool arrangements for next semester and my boss who was looking for a place for a few coworkers to stay that I would be living off campus. I was figuratively out of there. Well this morning all reality hit and the dreams of off campus quiet and freedom came crashing around me as Chelsea revealed that she wouldn't be able to go in on the deal due to some unforeseen financial aid situation. I was really upset and hurt as I thought about all the time and stress I had put into this whole thing and how next year when I need a house more than likely there won't be one in that neighborhood, my dream neighborhood. As I thought about all of these things and was not happy with Chelsea, my best friend, I kept trying to remind myself that technically it was never a for sure thing and I had just made it that way in my mind. I should be used to this feeling as my strong willed personality has led me into it many many times and it has a prominent place in my life, although it hurts just as bad everytime.
On the bright side, it never lasts long. Rather it's disappointment from a car that I had picked out and didn't get or a boy who turned out to be a jerk, something better always comes along. I know plain and simple that God must have something better in store for me. I keep reminding myself that next fall when I really will have to get a house, that I'll be able to do it all on my own and that more than likely my bathroom won't have blue tile walls with mauve floors.

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